Google+ Mommy Moments with Abby: Marriage Forgotten

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Marriage Forgotten

School, tutors, work, traffic, small business owner work, daycare hours, two kids, three dogs, blog, workouts, and sleep fill our days. As parents you all have a similar list of time consuming daily activities. After the kids are taken care of and the house is as settled as it can be for the day we often lumber off to bed. I have read stories and seen this cause for a discord in marriages. For some it can be months for others years before they have a minute and really look at their spouses to find they have no idea who they are with or how much the partner is changing. This leads to the issues of having a family and a marriage forgotten.

It is amazingly important to do all you can for your kids. One of those things is to work on your marriage. One of the smartest people I know has said that feelings can be and flow, while love is there its strength can be strong at times and at other times it can be weak, this is the nature of humans. It doesn't mean the love is gone, just that during times of stress (pregnancy, intense time demands, death in families, or whatever else that brings time demands and stress) feelings can be less intense due to the other emotions being felt. For this reason, it is important to make time to work on the marriage. Let the laundry wait a day and watch a movie together, or play one of the video games in the house, or go hit a bucket of balls, go go-karting together, or if you can have a hard time finding a sitter than after the kids are asleep play a board game or just eat separately than the kids that night and talk over candle light. Do something to keep a connection with your significant other. Even if it’s as simple as going to bed early, giving your partner a massage without expectation of one in return, and telling them one reason they are special to you; by doing something with your partner each week you can avoid the forgotten marriage syndrome.

Does this mean your marriage will be perfect? No, disagreements will still occur, things will still get forgotten and mistakes made, and life will still happen. It does mean that you won't be dealing with these things with someone who you do not know or feel connected. Instead you will at least have the ability to communicate better, respect the other person during the hard times or mistakes made, and you will still know your spouse.

In addition to doing something once a week together, make a point to celebrate the small victories in each others' life by doing something special. Maybe it’s that a new goal is able to be set for a work out, or a class finished with a good grade, or a large house project like painting a room or finishing floors is done; whatever the victory make that time after the kids are down just about them and making them happy, maybe take on more of the kids than you normally do while the kids are awake for an additional "You're awesome!" Celebrating each other's victories keeps you involved in each other’s life and your connection strong! To close, never be afraid to love each other or think that any loving act is too small because even the small acts add up to a lot of love which is always worth the effort! So, love each other this week, today, and never forget that for how hard you are working there is someone else working just as hard who also needs recognition for all they do to allow you to get your day done!

Thank you honey for all you give and have given to me! Congrats on your most recent A!


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